How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
