i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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