sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
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