I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize