I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
