come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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