I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
