let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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