My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
you are never too drunk for berry picking
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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