She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
