so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
