why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
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