please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
