Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
