I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Randomize
