did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
