GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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