They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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