After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You're earring is so big in my mouth
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
