I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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