She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize