She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
