i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
