zippers are such a cool invention
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
