whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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