Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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