omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
