thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
she told me i tasted like america
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
