I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
