Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
