people are starting to question the shark bite story
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
