i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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