Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Boobs speak an international language.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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