Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
