Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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