She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize