OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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