I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Omg I joined a choir last night...
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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