wake up i wanna do it froggy style
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
