haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
