And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
