We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
