Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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