omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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