Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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