Can i not drive my cunt home
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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