If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
