I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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