some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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