She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
