Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Randomize
