Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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