Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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