im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I think im going to throw up on grandma
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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