Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
