Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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