We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
