so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
