I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
So here I am, sexting at work.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
