I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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