it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
