Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
