She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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