Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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