HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
My vagina is very pro this idea
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize